How to Stop Falling For the Wrong People
Sexes Share the Same Relationship Dealbreakers
Contemporary Male Mating Strategies
Pop Culture Feeds Rape Culture
Hookup Culture Rightly Laid at Feminism’s Feet
Hookup Culture Not to Blame For Our Single Status
A Drunk Man Never Lies
Chicks Dig Altruists
But I sure don't want to be associated with it.
by Bramble on 2004 Dec 20 - 02:29 | reply to this comment
DD/Taken In Hand
I see where you're coming from when you say some people start acting up more often in order to get what they long for. But this isn't ALWAYS the case. I was like that at first, when I first introduced domestic discipline to my guy, because I wanted to make sure he'd follow through with it. I learned it wasn't the way to go - and now I try hard to stay out of discipline's way. I do enjoy the feeling of being taken care of and looked after when I DO go astray, but I enjoy the feeling of knowing I'm doing the right thing even better, knowing that my boyfriend is proud of me for doing the right thing. I wanted domestic discipline because I know there's things about myself I want to improve. For me, and for many others, it's about self-improvement. And, like Taken In Hand, it's about the re-connection, and about keeping the relationship in a good shape, not letting silly small things ruin something wonderful.
I noticed you said a woman who had been battered and abused by someone, go to her and ask if she'd like DD. Well, in my early teens I was in a violent and abusive relationship, beaten up and raped many times. I hated it. Absolutely hated it, I just wanted to die, and even now, I'd love to get amnesia or something to forget it. But, it's SO different from DD. So very very different. Domestic discipline feels loving, I feel loved because my boyfriend is willing to help me improve myself. Our rules mostly consist of the things that I want to improve, ME. And I introduced it to him. So it's so very different, it's not like he wants to strut around showing he has a hold over me or anything, he does it because I asked for it, and it's what I want, and he does it because he loves me. Anyway I had a lot more to say but I sort of forgot lol. For the most part, I agree with what you were saying, but some things I didn't. Each to their own huh.
by a Taken In Hand reader on 2004 Dec 20 - 04:55 | reply to this comment
Well said, Tevemer
Of course I agree with you. I did not intend to imply that everyone who considers himself a part of the domestic discipline community focuses narrowly on discipline - I know that people like you, Stephen and Frank don't - but still, possibly because of the name, "domestic discipline", many of those posting, and many of the discussions, revolve around discipline.
The same is true of Taken In Hand at the moment, but I would like to see it having a much broader focus.
by Sarah Cavendish on 2004 Dec 20 - 12:42 | reply to this comment
Needing a higher dominance man
Laura, I think this will speak to many many women reading Taken In Hand: